Posted on by ajbrown

March Mad… Whoaa… Gotta Hurry

March Madness is upon us and yes I’ve been watching a lot of basketball… However, I have no bracket busters for you and I don’t play the office pool.

If you have a minute between games and you want something to read, take a gander at a couple of recent publications:

First is a little tale called At the Grave. When I say little, I mean little. Twenty-five words little. It’s currently residing at Angel Zapata’s 5X5 Fiction. You can find it here:

At the Grave at 5X5 Fiction

The other story you can find at The Absent Willow Review. It is titled Mickie’s Stars and I really like this story. Yeah, I know I wrote it, I should like it. But it’s not like that. I really like this story. Stressing the really here. You can read it here:

Mickie’s Stars at The Absent Willow Review

I love the image of the girl that accompanies the story.

I guess that’s pretty much it for now. Yeah, a lot shorter than most of my posts… hey, the game’s back on. Gotta go…

Posted on by ajbrown

Smashwords and Me…

After much research I have decided to experiment a little with the epublication world, more to the point: e-books. I guess this is a bit like self publishing, which I have never really been a fan of, but unlike POD (Print On Demand) books, I chose to go the Smashwords route, which is a platform that allows you to format your story once (using their style guide) and then they, essentially, do the rest of the work for you.

I debated this decision for quite a while before finally saying why not give it a shot?

A little history on the first story, The Woman Who Loved the Red Stucco House:

This story would never have come about if not for Allison Hunter-Frederick. Allison posted a writing prompt in a writer’s office on the Zoetrope Virtual Studios where I am often found frequenting the offices and lurking in the shadows. The prompt was based on tinting your scenes with emotions and the scene was a house. The house was to be depicted in two different ways: describe it after winning the lottery and then describe it as if someone had been murdered there. (This exercise came from The Reviser’s Toolbox by Barry Lane).

After pondering for a few minutes, the opening line just kind of came to me. From there, the rest of the story sort of spilled out. If you’re a writer, then you understand this feeling and to deny it from running it’s course is a huge mistake.

At any rate, I let the folks in that office read the story and I mentioned I may put it up on Smashwords, but I was concerned with doing the cover since I am not all that great with graphics. In steps my friend Jack S. Rogers who offered to do the cover free of charge. Upon seeing the work he did I was blown away and asked if I could use it. Jack said of course—in a manner of speaking.

Then came what I thought would be the most daunting task: formatting the story to fit Smashwords. It was actually quite easy and I think once I do this a few times, it will be second nature, just like typing while not looking at the keys has become.

Finally, the story is up and you can download this one FOR FREE at Smashwords. Feel free to take a look—download it, read it, enjoy it and if you have a moment to spare, write a little review for the story.

It’s much appreciated.

The link to the story is here:

The Woman Who Loved the Red Stucco House

As a writer, I thank you every time you read one of my stories. Feel free to drop me a line here at Type AJ Negative or at my Facebook page. I’d love to hear what you guys and gals have to say.

For now, I’m AJ and I’m out…

Posted on by ajbrown · 1 Comment

Secrets of the Lotus By Michelle Garren Flye

My friend, Michelle Garren Flye, has a novel out. Yes, I know a lot of other folks do as well, but Michelle is my friend, so…

At any rate, her book is titled Secrets of the Lotus and, yes, it is a romance novel, which normally would make my gag reflex kick in. But, not in this case and not only because Michelle is my friend, as I mentioned above. Michelle is a terrific writer and her characters can suck you in (for the men in the audience, please behave for two minutes) and her storylines are always engaging and keep you reading.

Not only that, but Michelle is doing a donation drive. For the ENTIRE year of 2011 she’s donating all of her royalties to charities—a different one each month. How cool is that? So, if you buy Secrets of the Lotus not only will you get a great read, but you will also help the charity that Michelle donates to in that particular month. It’s a win-win situation, especially since the book is not that expensive.

Secrets of the Lotus

If you would like to purchase Secrets of the Lotus, please follow the link below and it will take you to the Lyrical Press website where you can pick you up a copy or two or three and help a charity at the same time.

http://www.lyricalpress.com/store/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=81&products_id=273

And when you’re done with that, go check out Michelle’s blog/website, BREATHE.

http://michellegflye.wordpress.com/

And if you want to read an interview that Herbie had with Michelle, go here:

https://typeajnegative.wordpress.com/blood-donors/michelle-garren-flye-pricks-a-finger-and-kills-commas/

Thank you for reading and thank you if you purchased one of Michelle’s books. It is truly worth it on all counts.

Posted on by ajbrown · 1 Comment

Just A Thought or Four

Good morning, afternoon, evening… whatever it is at wherever you are.

Herbie has gone to sleep for a while—finally.  That character can stay awake for months and not bat an eye.  It’s not like he has much choice—he doesn’t have eyelids as far as I know…

Read on until you hear the growl from the basement.  At which point, I would advise leaving the building like Elvis… Herbie will probably be grumpy.  He always is after a nap.

***

First and foremost, I received an e-mail recently from Karen Schindler, Managing Editor of Pow Fast Flash Fiction, informing me that a story she published at the beginning of the year, Mother Weeps, has been nominated for a Pushcart Prize. 

This caught me by surprise.  I had seen several folks I know get nominated for this award, but didn’t think one of my own pieces would be.  This was a pleasant surprise.  In recent years a couple of my stories had received nominations for awards, but this one feels different.  I honestly feel this piece is very strong in its compactness.  

A friend of mine pointed out recently, Mother Weeps could go hand in hand with another story that was published this year by Bards and Sages Quarterly, Baby Pink.  They both have the same feel, the same mood.  They’re both flash fiction pieces with each and every word having its place. 

Here’s the other thing:  even if Mother Weeps does not win the Pushcart, this is an honor for me… yeah, yeah, just being nominated is an honor and I know it sounds cliché, but this, unlike the Stokers or the P&E awards, actually has a chance.  Why?  Well, the judges can’t be swayed by friends to vote for their stories.  I’m not going to get into how I feel about the way the Stokers are done and the P&E poll is a readers poll, which is great, but folks can be easily swayed and it kind of makes winning a lot harder.  [Interesting enough, my long fiction piece, The Woodshed, received two Stoker recommendations—not good enough for a full blown nomination, but it was a great feeling at the time—and my short story, Release, which appeared in The Monsters Next Door (sniff, sniff… I miss that publication) ended up tied for 14th in the 2009 P&E awards.] 

But, the Pushcart appears to be different and I think that is a good thing.

If you would like to take a look at Mother Weeps, go to the following link:  http://powfastflashfiction.com/MotherWeepsAJBrown.html

While you’re at it, check out the other stories there.  You won’t be disappointed…

***

Also, when you’re done with this post (not now—wait and finish reading), head on over to SNM Horror Magazine, where you can read my story, The Long Walk.  Leave a comment or ten in their Guest book.

http://www.snmhorrormag.com/snmnovemberissue2.htm

Also, check out some of the other stories, including John Miller’s Goodbye, Dad…

http://www.snmhorrormag.com/snmnovemberissue1.htm

***

Kevin Wallis’s short story collection received a glowing review at The Midwest Book Review.  You can go to the following link to read all about it:

http://www.midwestbookreview.com/rbw/nov_10.htm#bethany

Scroll up just a little—the review is just above the header of Behtany’s Bookshelf.

Or, you can just read the review here:

Beneath the Surface of Things
Kevin Wallis
Bards and Sages Publishing 2010
2010909376 $14.99 http://www.bardsandsages.com

Mona Lisa Safai
Reviewer

Kevin Wallis debuts with Beneath the Surface of Things, his latest collection of twenty-five short stories. His collection is an emotionally impacting showcase of stories which take his audience on a rollercoaster ride with endless twists and turns. Wallis explores realistic and surreal worlds which vary in lightness and darkness. Every story carries a common thread that questions reality. There are no absolutes, no boundaries – only depth. He writes mindbending stories which challenge readers to ask themselves how much they really know and how deep they are willing to look to find the truth.

In Tempestuous Choices, a family seeks refuge from a furious hurricane. Without rhyme or reason a man in a spotless, white suit appears and tells the father, Terrence, that “You and family must die today.” With great unease, Terrence, ignores this nameless man and begins to secure the house for the pending storm. Meanwhile, the man in white continues to appear with the same message “You and your family must die.” How Terrence handles this man in white’s message is truly fascinating. Wallis writes this with incredible attention to motion, character development, and internal spiritual conflict.

In She’s Killing Me, Wallis writes a true story about one night when he, his wife, and another couple, Jen and Joe get together and play video golf. Jen is an excellent and competitive player. Kevin, on the other hand, is desperate to finally beat Jen just one time. Wallis describes the events of the evening with humorous, yet minimalist dialogue that accentuates the story.

Conscience is a flash fiction story that depicts human nature from an unnerving and grotesque perspective. Wallis describes a serial killer who holds a young woman chained in his kitchen. As he prepares to slaughter her, and then eat her, the killer begins to cry. Terrorized, the girl expects the knife to slit her neck. Instead, the killer rips her restraints. She quickly crawls to the door and glances back one last time to see he’s cutting his own fingers, while crying and laughing. Wallis shows the audience a serial killer with remorse, usually not exhibited in such killers. The capacity to feel such an emotion is nonexistent. His style is precise, detailed, and provocative. Wrought with fear, horror, and disbelief, Wallis communicates the emotions of both characters clearly in such a compact space.

In Charlie’s Lunch, a man sipping coffee notices that patrons begin to vanish one by one. His world and sanity begin to unravel as he tries to make sense of what he is witnessing. A waitress watches as he slowly falls more and more into nightmarish confusion. She holds the key to his understanding. Wallis pens this story as a bridge between two worlds – the realistic and the surreal. Together they mesh, but there is an uneasy feeling of motion without purpose–people living without knowing why. Again, Wallis uses powerful language to move readers into imaginative realms.

Wallis’s stories encompass the darkness which lies within us. Sometimes, the darkness is brutal, raw, violent, and quiet until triggered, or simply spiteful and comical. There are no ways to compartmentalize our inner emotions. Wallis has incredible ability to explore the internal realms of the human spirit and possible worlds beyond scientific explanation. His combination of horror with fantasy, surrealism with reality, light with dark, and mercy with death create compelling stories deserving the attention of all readers. Hopefully, many more works will follow.

***

I’m hoping to have an announcement about something that may or may not be in the works soon.  Either way, good or bad, I will divulge the information closer to Thanksgiving.

***

That’s all for now.  Check back later.  Hopefully, there will be a few more author interviews up soon.  Working on them now.

For now I’m AJ and I’m out…

Posted on by ajbrown · 3 Comments

Musings From Halloween Week

Whew…

Time to take a breath…

Seriously.  I’m exhausted. 

The last few weeks have seen my son get sick, a massive migraine that needled me for three days after it first occurred, an eye issue which may or may not have been an allergy that affected a lot of what I did in the last week.  There were other issues, but the health ones are enough.

So, sit back and let’s look at some observations from the last week or so.

First off, if you missed a moment of awesomeness, go back and read about it here: 

https://typeajnegative.wordpress.com/2010/10/28/a-personal-moment-of-awesomeness/

***

Last week, in my first offering of Musings I mentioned the differences between men and women.  They are obvious in many ways, but not so much in others.  I stated simply the main difference between the sexes is in how they stab you and what they do after said stabbing.  Most men will deny it, try to hide the body or just run away after the crime has been committed.  Women, however, gloat about it.  You know what I’m talking about:  “That’s right, I stabbed you.  And I’m gonna do it again, punk.”

I would like to add some evidence to my claims.  If it pleases the court, I would like to enter into evidence Exhibit A, the song and video ‘Goodbye Earl,’ by the Dixie Chicks. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gw7gNf_9njs&p=3BFC019FCE091592&playnext=1&index=23

(Yes, in order to see this particular video, you have to follow the link.)

This song laments about Maryanne and Wanda, the best of friends all through their high school days.  Maryanne left to explore the world while Wanda stayed in town and met Earl, who she married.  According to the song and video, Earl is a Richard (if you don’t know what I mean, please refer back to referenced link above).  He abuses Wanda and puts her in the hospital.  Upon hearing the news, Maryanne hurries home to be by her friend’s side.  Maryanne is such a loyal friend.

How loyal, you ask?

Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, I say she was loyal enough… to commit murder.  Settle down.  Settle down.  I know it’s hard to believe, but I tell you no lie.

The friends conspired to murder Earl and they did so one muggy night by poisoning his black eyed peas (not to be confused with the group of the same name).

Okay, as the video shows, Maryanne and Wanda did indeed kill Earl (and I think, in this case it was justified).  If you will, fast forward to the 2:02 mark in the video.  Is that Wanda poking Earl with a fork??  Not only does she poison him, but she also pokes him with a fork to see if he is done.  Both Wanda and Maryanne are smiling.  But, look at the lead singer for the Dixie Chicks.  She looks pissed, as if poisoning him wasn’t enough. 

Now, if you will, fast forward a little further to the 3:18 mark where there are many folks dancing, including a zombiefied Earl.  It is at this point where I feel the lead singer is just a bit crazy.  She taunts dead Earl with:

Let’s go out to the lake, Earl.  We’ll pack a lunch.

Stuff you in the trunk, Earl.  Well is that all right?

Good!  Let’s go for a ride, Earl.

Really, does Earl have a say in this?  He’s dead.  They are genuinely happy that Earl has been killed.  Not that Earl didn’t deserve it—he did.  But, listen to the song, listen to how the words are spoken.  These are happy women.  These are women that are saying, “That’s right, bitch, I poisoned you.  And if you weren’t dead, I’d stab you as well.”

Women—they’re just a little more sadistic than their male counterparts…

So, the case becomes a little stronger.  Next week, Exhibit B will be entered in as evidence.

***

Halloween isn’t the same anymore.

Before I go to the good stuff about Halloween, let me lament for a moment or two.  Halloween fell on a Sunday this year.  Folks, listen to me.  Would you try to switch Thanksgiving from a Thursday to, say, a Tuesday?  No.  Thanksgiving always falls on a Thursday.  How about Christmas?  What if Christmas falls on a Saturday?  It is in the middle of football season after all.  Would you try to get it switched to a Friday?  Or even a Sunday?  Nah…  So why, if Halloween falls on a Sunday, would you try and get the trick-or-treating to be switched to a day that was not Halloween? 

I’ve heard the arguments that trick-or-treating should not be done on Sunday, the day of rest and church going.  I get that, but I’ve also noticed a good chunk of those folks complaining don’t go to church.  What?  Really?  Yes, really.  To some, the day is considered evil.  Ummm… yeah, okay… you folks need to do a little research on the day…

What I want to know and I have said this a couple of times this Halloween season:  For those of you complaining, weren’t you all kids at one time?  Don’t you remember the excitement of Halloween?  The anticipation of going house to house and then arriving home to dump out your pillow case full of candy so you can see what you got?  Don’t you remember wanting to get dressed up as your favorite character or whatever your parents could afford to dress you up as?  Seriously?  Hey, adults, Halloween is NOT about YOU.  It never has been. 

I am a parent and there is a measure of joy that goes into watching my children run up to houses, knock on the door and yell trick-or-treat when the door is opened.  There is a measure of happiness that goes into seeing the excitement on my children’s faces as they put on their costumes and get ready to head out in the darkness. 

Again, adults, it’s not about you.  Let the kids have their fun.  To sound cheesy:  don’t be a Halloweinee.

Now, on to better Halloween thoughts.

My son dressed up as R5-D4 from Star Wars.  Please, do not confuse that with R2-D2.  He will correct you… with attitude.  If you don’t recall R5-D4, he is the robot in the original Star Wars that Luke and his Uncle chose along with C3PO.  As they walked away, he blew up, thus paving the way for R2-D2 to play a significant role in the movie. 

My wife made the costume out of craft foam, a colander and a flashlight.  It was definitely a sight to see and my son loved it.  Many males noticed and commented on the great R5-D4 costume.  As we walked around a friend’s neighborhood trick-or-treating (on Sunday, by the way), my son made bells and whistle sounds, like the droid itself did.  However, at one point, my son grew tired of walking and after complaining for a few minutes he finally said, “R5-D4’s oil is leaking.  He can’t go on much further.”

We laughed.  I spoke up.  “Well, if R5-D4 breaks down, Daddy gets his candy.”

I’ve never seen a robot perk up so quickly…

My daughter went as a zombie bride.  Again, my wife made the costume by combining a few things, including coffee, into a mixture and spraying it onto a dress my daughter has only worn once in the three or so years she has had it.  It gave the dress a stained look, albeit with a strong coffee aroma.  With grayish-white makeup applied to her face and the fake skin scar put on her head, all that was left was the blood.  The stuff that comes in the plastic white tubes is awesome—it looks like real blood, even drying out the same. 

We took the kids to the Halloween at 5 Points event and, astonishingly enough, my daughter was the only child with blood dripping from wounds.  Really?  There were tons of princesses and super heroes, but no other zombie chicks walking around.  She got looks.  She got scares.  She got a ‘what the hell?’ from one parent whose kid looked terrified to pass her.

The small child—maybe three or four years old—at Little Caesars refused to step through the door as my daughter stood holding it open for him.  His mother nudged him, told him to go.  He shook his head.  Chloe stared at him, in a daring manner—go ahead kid, walk by me.  I’ll stab you…  Finally, the mother nudged him through the door and he ran… Yup, that’s my girl. 

One other thing:  Hey lady in the black outfit with the bat wings, it’s okay to dress up, but shouldn’t you cover your boobs just a little??  You attracted more attention than your kids did—and it wasn’t because men thought you were hot…

As I stated earlier.  Halloween just isn’t the same.  Sure, my kids had fun and so did Catherine and I.  But, things just aren’t what they used to be.  When I was a child, our parents didn’t go with us.  We were told where we could go and that we couldn’t eat any of the candy before we brought it home and let our parents go through it.  Other than that, Halloween was wide open for us.  There were pranks played, other kids scared, houses visited and candy eaten—before we got home.  You didn’t have parents driving their cars down streets where kids were.  It was a no-no.  You also didn’t see kids getting into those cars and the parents driving them to the next house, where they would get out and run to the door for their treats only to get back in and do it again at the next house.  Half of the fun of trick-or-treating was going from door to door—walking, not being driven around.

Sadly, many neighborhoods don’t do trick-or-treating.  They turned their lights down, hid in the sanctity of front rooms, dens and bedrooms, behind closed doors.  They cringed at the sound of feet on the sidewalks, laughter and that inevitable knock on the door.  And many kids don’t say trick-or-treat anymore.  They just stick their bags out and walk away after the candy or whatever is given.  Many don’t even say thank you. 

With the lack of houses with lights on, a lot of kids didn’t even bother going to some neighborhoods. A friend of mine said he had no visitors all night long.  “I thought about driving around and finding some kids to give the candy to.”

Yeah, that would have worked out well, don’t you think?  Can you say stalker?  I picture a car driving along the streets, its driver hunched over the steering wheel, face to the windshield, eyes narrow as he searches for kids.  Out of the corner of one eye, he spots them—a group of four or five little ones dressed as various characters, none of them the traditional monsters. He pulls along side the kids and rolls the window down.

“Hey, you kids want some candy?”

They back away from the car, their eyes wide in fear.  Their mommas told them about his type.  He extends a hand full of chocolate bars.  “Come on, take some.”

They scream and run away.  He gets out of the car.  “Where are you going?  I want to give you some candy.”  He runs after them throwing candy bars in their direction.  “Take the damn candy,” he yells.

And on the eleven o’clock news the anchor tells of a crazed man chasing kids.  The streets are safe again—he has been arrested…

It is what it is. 

There were the standard Halloween shows and marathons as well.  I particularly liked the all day showing of The Munsters on Halloween. 

And then, there was The Walking Dead… Holy intense series premieres, Batman…  The hype is well deserved.

***

Beneath the Surface of Things, By Kevin Wallis, received a great review from the Horror Fiction Review, even if they did get his name wrong at the end of the review.  Still worth checking out.

http://www.freewebs.com/hfrzine/november2010reviews.htm

Also, Beneath the Surface of Things can be purchased at the Bards and Sages Publishing website at:

http://www.bardsandsages.com/kevinwallis

***

Currently playing at SNM Horror Magazine, is my short story, The Long Walk.  Check it out here: 

http://www.snmhorrormag.com/snmnovemberissue2.htm

***

I will end this on a rather somber note.  Fifteen years ago on Halloween night, a teenager named Christopher Keith Dunne was murdered.  I won’t go into specifics, but he was a good kid who never had it easy.  Halloween was one of his favorite ‘holidays.’

Hey, Chris, I lift my Snickers Bar in memory of you…

Posted on by ajbrown · 4 Comments

A Personal Moment of AWESOMENESS…

Sometimes awesomeness comes when you least expect it.

***DISCLAIMER:  THERE IS SOME REFERENCE TO A MAN’S SEXUAL ORGAN WITHIN THIS PIECE, SO IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED, TURN OFF THE SHOW NOW.  END OF DISCLAIMER***

As I stated before the disclaimer got in the way, sometimes awesomeness comes when you least expect it.

A few years ago I worked for a copy shop.  It was a mom and pop type of business, one that was pretty well known within the area.  I ran an office of three to four folks, depending on whatever mood the owners were in.  We were a small branch off the main company.  We had half the staff as the main office, yet we did as much work and raked in nearly half of the net profits. 

One of the owners—a not such a gentlemanly type—constantly rode my staff to do more work, to bring in more work, to lie if necessary, which I refused to allow my staff to do.  If we couldn’t get a job done, we didn’t accept it. 

Let me back up a step.  I worked for a company that catered to the legal profession, meaning that deadlines were usually fixed and there was little wiggle room.  Often the deadlines were terribly unrealistic.  Yet, 95% of the time, my staff met them and far exceeded our goals on a monthly basis.  A lot of these deadlines were usually court related, which meant if we didn’t meet them, cases could be lost.  Now that you know that, you understand why I refused to allow any of my staff to lie to a client and tell them we could do something we couldn’t. 

This infuriated ‘Richard’ to no end.  I refer to him as Richard because one of the shorter versions of the name is Dick, and this is what the owner was most of the time. 

Back to the story.  I left that company after a long time—too long if you asks my wife—and went to the firm I am with now, where I am quite happy with my job and the duties it involves.  That was back in 2004.  I also left under bad terms, with me resigning after some foul workings by said owner royally pissed me off.  I did not give two weeks.  I did not give an explanation.  I simply walked into my bosses’ office, set my keys and cell phone on the desk and said, “I quit.”  I then walked out. 

Needless to say, this was a weight off of my shoulders.  (Why do people say needless to say and then still say it anyway?)  I, fortunately, had already had another job lined up and spent the next couple of hours at the new place of employment, relieved to be away from Dick.  Or is that Satan?

Fast forward to today, six and a half years later.  A gentleman from work offers to buy a bunch of us pizza for lunch.  He asks me if I would go with him to pick them up.  Let’s see, walk to Pizza Hut for free pizza or not?  (This is one of those needless to say moments)  So, he and I walked the block from the office to the Pizza Hut and picked up the pizzas.  We walked into operations on the bottom floor of our building to sort the pizzas out.  Lo and behold, Richard—ah, who am I kidding, Dick—is standing there.  Our eyes met.  I smiled.  No, I wasn’t happy to see him—never seeing him again would have suited me just fine. 

However…

I still smiled and I said, as politely as I could muster, “Hey.  How yah doin’?”  No, that is not with a New York accent.

His eyes narrowed, his lips pulled down as if anchors had suddenly attached itself to his face.  Without say a word, he walked out. 

He…

Walked…

Out…

Dick left the building.  Seriously.

One of my co-workers, Woody (which is kind of funny when you consider the owner being a dick), looked at me and asked, “Did you just say hey to him?”

Me:  “Yeah.”

Woody:  “He didn’t say anything?”

Me:  “Nope.”

Woody:  “What was that all about?”

Me:  “He’s the owner of the company I used to work for.”

Woody:  “Oh.  That was still rude.”

Me:  “That was… awesome…”

I started laughing.  Woody and my boss both looked at me like I had lost my mind. 

Okay, this is where everyone out there looks at the screen with weird looks on their faces, maybe a half grin/frown thing working, eyes holding that confused look in them.  You may even be scratching your head—for you men, I am referring to the one on your shoulders, thank you very much… Geeze…

Here’s the thing.  Dick was rather pissed when I left, even calling my house a dozen or so times to try and get me to come back.  I, of course, did not return any of the phone calls.  I was done with the place and with the BS that came with it.  Things had gotten so bad there that even the good things were bad and the bad things… well, you can imagine, can’t you?

A month after leaving, I recruited my best friend to work with me at the new place of employment.  As Keith put it a few weeks later, we had become free agents and our new team was better for us than the old one. No more playing for a team who didn’t look after its players—we were at a place where they wanted us.  And that goes a long way…

From there, the office we had opened completely shut down—all within about two months of my leaving.  It had a significant impact on the company—one that they have yet to recover from, all these years later.

Back to the story:  I started laughing and those in the office looked at me like I had lost my mind.  I explained, as I do now:

Here it is six and a half years later and Dick is still pissed at me.  Still.  He hasn’t let it go.  He hasn’t moved on.  Yes!  I hit him where it hurt—again, men, not there—and he didn’t like it.  I did to him what he did to so many of his employees and here it is, over six years later and I’m still that spur in his side. 

Awesome!

Totally, unabashedly awesome…

Now, now, I’m sure some of you are still scratching your heads.  Some of you are probably saying that I’ve lost my mind to actually be happy that someone still resents me for something I did.  And, well, you’re wrong…

For years his underappreciated staff built his company, built his clientele, built his reputation, brought in money by the bucketfuls and all he did was step on them.  He stepped on those loyal enough to pass up better job offers to stay with him.  He talked down to his staff, treated them worse than that brown stuff on the bottom of your shoe after walking through a cow pasture.  He sat back and complained…. complained… complained… Seriously, I don’t think the Grinch who stole Christmas was this unhappy.

Knowing that I’m the voice in the back of his head telling him over and over he should have listened to me, that I knew what I was talking about.  And seeing that look on his face when our eyes met… yeah, that is awesome in all of its awesomeness.  That is awesome to the Nth degree. 

That is Karma and, no she’s not a bitch right now.  She’s awesome…

For me, for what I and several others have been through with this former job, this type of awesomeness has no limits.  It’s the feather in my cap, well, if I had a cap…

Anyway… that’s my story and yes, I am shameless.

(Herbie’s Note:  For all of AJ’s Facebook friends who wondered what the awesomeness was, well, I would apologize to you for this being less than what you thought, but AJ will not allow it.)

(Herbie’s Note Two:  Other notable things of Awesomeness include my wife, the Baltimore Ravens, Kick Buttowski, Stephen King, Ford Mustangs, W.I.S. (wife initiated sex) and Halloween…)

Posted on by ajbrown · 2 Comments

Musings From the Week of October 16th through October 22nd

Musings from the week that was October 16th through October 22nd.  I will go ahead and warn you, there is some language in one or two of these musings, so if you don’t want to read, just skip to the next segment. 

***

I hate having sick kids.  As any parent will tell you, sick children are pitiful, but they are also a TON of work.  I’m usually more exhausted after a day with a sick child, than I am from a typical day of work. 

I knew my son was feeling better when he came up to me and said, “Daddy, I’m going to beat you up.”

***

My wife and I celebrated the 15th Anniversary of our first date this past week.  We went to Grecian Gardens, the place of that first date.  It was the 25th Anniversary of Grecian Gardens, as well.

We did not order dinner, but went straight for dessert.  Catherine ordered Baklava and coffee.  I ordered the chocolate cake and a glass of milk.  Thank God for milk—that cake was rich and I needed every drop of that mile to wash it down. 

Interestingly enough, quite a few folks watched us eat.  Yes, that’s right, people, we went straight for the dessert—forget real food, give me sugars and chocolates and a tall glass of milk, oh my… oh and can you please stop staring?

***

I lamented a few months ago about men getting on elevators and doing stuff with their crotches.  Well, it happened again.  This time the gentleman was in a nice blue suit with matching tie.  Most men check their hair or make sure their tie is straight.  Nope, not this fellow.  He went straight for his crotch, adjusting it, pushing and shoving it until it was apparently in the right place, all the while staring into the mirrored doors.

He exited the elevator a moment later and I turned to the two women that were on there with me and raised my eyebrows. 

“He must have a hot date,” one of them said.

***

I mentioned earlier about the 15th anniversary of Catherine and my first date.  We left Grecian Gardens and proceeded to go to Food Lion to get… well, milk, of course.  On our way out, milk and candy corn in hand, we noticed this rather large woman.  (Yes, I realize what I am about to say could be deemed insensitive, but come on…)  This woman was maybe five and a half feet tall.  She was also probably around 300-350 pounds.  That was not the issue, though.  I couldn’t care less about her weight.  The issue is what she was wearing. 

No, she was not wearing spandex—thankfully.

 No, her shirt wasn’t too tight.

No, she was not wearing a thong, as far as I could tell.  Again, thankfully…

What she wore was a green shirt that held two words on it:  The Pig. (yes, I know this is in reference to Piggly Wiggly, but when you are that height and weight, you may not want to wear THAT shirt.)

Yes, I could make many jokes about this, but I don’t want to risk appearing even more insensitive about this than I already to.  So, YOU can make your own jokes… Go ahead.  I’ll wait…

This could be considered a T-shirt FAIL… or maybe a WIN.  I’m not sure.  The only thing that was missing was the Food LION…

***

I love this song by The Saw Doctors:

***

HERE IS WHERE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED BY LANGUAGE YOU SHOULD SKIP ON TO THE NEXT SEGMENT…

There is an inherent difference between men and women, other than the sex organs and other significant differences.  What is it, you asks?

Simple:  It’s the difference of how they react after they stab you.  Yes, that’s right.  Don’t asks how I know this or how I came to this conclusion.

When a man stabs someone, he may feel good about it for a minute or two, but then the innate fear of what he has done kicks in.  He then either flees the scene of the crime or tries to hide the body.  And men are really sloppy when it comes to hiding bodies.  They never quite think about everything…

However… when a woman stabs someone they’re proud of it.  Not just proud but damn proud of it.  And they will tell you so.

“That’s right.  I stabbed your ass.  What are you going to do about it?  Nothing.  ‘Cause I’ll stab your ass again.”

And if you are a guy and a woman stabs you, it’s worse.

“Go ahead, call the cops.  I’ll tell them too.  I stabbed you.  Go ahead, put me in jail.  When I get out, I’ll find you and stab you again.  Who’s the bitch now, bitch?”

Just think about it…

***

With Halloween comes a new television series on AMC, The Walking Dead, based on the Graphic Novel of the same name…

***

One last thing and I’ll be done for now.  Sue Babcock recently created a trailer for Kevin Wallis’ short story collection, Beneath the Surface of Things.

It’s a great collection.  You can check it out at Amazon or go straight to Bards and Sages Publishing at:  http://www.bardsandsages.com/kevinwallis

I’m done for now.  Check back next week and we’ll get the ball rolling again…

Posted on by ajbrown

Dread Central Reviews Ruthless

Dread Central reviewed Ruthless, edited by Shane McKenzie and released by Pill Hill Press.

To read the review go here:

http://www.dreadcentral.com/reviews/ruthless-book

To purchase the book, which carries my story, Rise Up, Nanking, in it, go here:

http://www.pillhillpress.com/books.html

And, if you would like to take a look at Bentley Little’s introduction, check out this link:

http://www.pillhillpress.com/ruthless-intro-preview.html

Posted on by ajbrown

New Content

I started to say ‘Howdeeeeee’ like Minnie Pearl, then I realized that most folks under the age of forty don’t know who Minnie Pearl was.   So, I’ll just say, What’s up, folks?  Even that doesn’t sound right…  I’ve never been one to be hip anyway…

There is some new content up here at Type AJ Negative.  Interviews with Bailey Hunter and Lee Thompson and another one with Gay Degani slated for a Tuesday release.  Also, my friend Lincoln Crisler will be showing up in the Donor Center in a few weeks.  LC is one cool dude and a tremendous writer. 

There’s also a new blog post, Life’s Little Mudcakes, about one of life’s events this past week.

Also, you can check out The Walking Man, a new story posted in the Blood Bank.

Have a look.  Browse the links to other websites.  Most importantly, enjoy.

AJ